| Once
upon a time in The Great
South Land Little Goody Tooshooz
threw her handbag across
the Lair, fell to the floor,
kicked her little feet and
yelled "It's not fair."
Just
a short distance from the
Lair was the most historic
cemetery in the land. More
than two hundred years old,
it housed the country's most
famous ex-citizens.
Over
the years it had been badly
neglected and was a real
mess so Little Goody Tooshooz
demanded that the Wolves
spend some of their gold
to fix it up.
Overlooking
the beauty of The Sea of
The Great South Land, the
cemetery stood on the finest
piece of land in the country
and the Big Bad Wolf was
most embarrassed that he
had forgotten all about it.
He was now determined to
address his neglect, however.
The
Big Bad Wolf summoned the
creatures of The Great South
Land together, spread around
absolute truckloads of "Magic
Bulldust" and declared that
the Historic Cemetery was
to be transformed into a
glorious monument to the
country's pioneers.
Advertisements
were placed in all of the
newspapers in the land offering
special payments to the relatives
of the cemetery's residents
to ease their pain during
the transition.
Other
things were more important,
though, and when the time
to claim had passed none
of the creatures had really
noticed so the Wolves got
all the plots for nothing.
The
head stones were gently removed
and stored in an enormous
warehouse as work went ahead
on the monument. |
The
Big Bad Wolf thought it was
sad that, while the dead
had this beautiful view and
the constant sea breeze,
the poor were stuck in really
small, hot hovels miles away
from anything.
This
was all to change soon. In
keeping with modern architecture
the site quickly bloomed
into a cluster of beige,
boring, sixty six story luxury
apartment blocks in the shape
of giant headstones.
On
the ground floor of each
was a boutique, a bar, a
pizza parlour and a weight
loss salon.
The
project was named 'The Big
Bad Wolf Luxury Memorial
Pioneer Housing and Retail
Village' and the Wolves soon
had to build a brand new
place to keep all of the
gold that the rich threw
at them for a place in the
sun, on this grand new estate.
Little
Goody Tooshooz chucked an
amazing tantrum, screaming
that it is immoral to keep
such historic items as the
headstones locked away from
the creatures and The Big
Bad Wolf agreed.
The
resulting auction brought
the Wolves even more gold
and to this day the headstones
share The Great South Land
with a zillion grotesque,
colourful concrete garden
gnomes.
The
Moral: The
cock crows on his own dung
heap.

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